My Creative Writing Rant

So perhaps my focal point should no longer be creative writing. Being bogged down in all this literature turned a passion straight into a pipe dream. I guess I should have expected to be reading more than I was writing. That makes sense, right? Oh well I've moved on. Found my new direction, computer science

Everyone seems to find this to be a huge jump for me. I guess it's not normal to be able to excel in any field of academia as long as I feel the need to. I'm not trying to boast, in fact I wish I was just good in one area. It would make my life so much easier. Never second guessing myself, feeling like I belonged somewhere. 

Hopefully I'm making the right choice. Not like I need an education to be a writer anyways.

One really awesome side to all this, is no more night classes. I'll bet that night classes are awesome for anyone trying to work and go to school, but as a full time student, for a lack of better words, it sucks ass. Sitting in one room, listening to one man drone on endlessly about some book I'd have no problem using for toilet paper, is an excruciating experience. Maybe if he cracked more jokes, for quite frankly he's hilarious, when he's not lecturing, He can go from hilarity to desert dry faster than you can say sandpaper.

The only thing worse than a droning 5 hour lecture? Workshopping. For anyone new to that idea, picture this: Twenty people in a room all reading a poem they wrote, out loud. Then everyone either brown noses it or bashes the author, depending on their own personal view. Leave it to egocentric outcasts to ruin any meaning in a piece of poetry. They wouldn't know a metaphor if it won American Idol.

Did I mention that the two creative writing core classes I took turned into literature classes? So those, plus the English core literature classes equals nothing but reading book after book and maybe some creative writing if you instructor left their copy of the weekly book at home.

My adviser was rather understanding at all of this. I guess she had a notion this would happen the instant I told her how much I loathed reading for pleasure. I half expected to have to stand tall on a podium to explain my reasoning, but it was unnecessary. I was, however, applauded for recognizing I needed to get out instead of forcing myself to stick through it.

It didn't take much thought to realize what path I should take. The only other thing I do more than write, is dick around on computers. Hell, compared to my computer usage, I write about as much as I listen to country music. Which for anyone not aware of it, I'd wipe country music off the earth if I could, but then again, who wouldn't?

Don't get me wrong, I love writing. Especially when I get entranced in what I'm writing. I can't think of a greater feeling than when that spark inside me goes off and my pen hits paper. I just don't think I need to read and talk about three hundred books to feel confident about it. Congratulations, only idiots believe a piece of paper can make you better than someone, especially writing. There's a reason the Pulitzer prize is a medallion, not some cheesy certificate of creative merit.

With books and letters behind me, I move down the path of numbers and keyboards. Thank god I only have to deal with two math classes. I enjoy math about as much as I enjoy literature, but at least with math there is a definite right and wrong answer. No more catering to a teachers agenda when writing a paper. It's hard enough when you leave a bad impression on them by never joining in on discussions.

I guess I can handle this set back from switching majors. Probably would've ended up taking just as long to finish all the English classes anyways. Gives me more time to avoid becoming a real adult. I guess I'm taking after my dad in the realm of taking my time in college. As long as I can find my passion, I'll be content.

Also, I'd like to point out an interesting contrast I found. I turned in two piece to the same teacher. Both were written in about the same time frame, the only difference being that I actually cared about writing one of them. The one I didn't care about, was marked with the words “You should look into taking a grammar course”. The other one, the one I cared about, was marked with “You do some good tight work here.” Obviously if I gave a damn about all my papers, I'd be valedictorian.

Perhaps I'll just continue suing poetry to lessen my emotional burdens and use prose to rant about things I have trouble saying out loud. If I'm going to be annoyed, at least I can do it creatively. Nothing says “fuck you” like a 30 page packet of the thoughts behind the two simple words. Hopefully I can avoid making someone cry because it doesn't have to be directed at anyone in particular.

I hope I won't end up repeating this process with the computer science program. My hand has just about fallen off writing this as quickly as I did. Time can only tell for me, I just hope it tells me what I want to hear this time.